1.4. MY FEATHERWEIGHT EGO

Do you know the saying, "Cut your flesh and break his bones"? "The moment when you break the opponent's bones with well-organised thinking is the only moment when you can come out of the rough water

After living as a human being for a few decades, we come to realize that certain things are unavoidable. In my case, it meant knowing that the next day would always arrive. The sun would faithfully rise, and as I opened the window, the crisp morning air and the sweet sound of birdsong filled the room. It was the same as yesterday morning. But they weren't enough to wake up the werewolf.

Don't wake a sleeping wolf!

I began the day quietly. My daughter was also reserved. I drove her to school and headed to work. In my line of work, silence was not an option, but I spoke only when necessary. It was an unusual case in the usual morning.

Unusual silence allowed me to dwell on the dream I had experienced that night. Honestly, I couldn't discern how much of it was fantasy in my dream and how much was reality. But it hinted that something unavoidable had begun to move.

In the eerie calm before the storm, the Moon ascended gracefully above the water, casting a mesmerizing glow upon the shallow waters. I thought it was a river and its silver radiance was a faint echo of the Sun.

The reflection from the Sun enveloped a spectral domain where the faintest details of objects were starkly outlined. Along both banks of the river, wolves unleashed their mournful howls, echoing a lament to their deity. A solitary boat swayed in the gentle current, I was the only observer of this surreal and emotive spectacle.

The hidden fear and sadness that I ignore in my daily life suddenly came to the surface, and I had to face my neglected subconscious thoughts. This imagined world, full of wild ideas, feels more real than reality, and I realized there were valuable lessons to be learned from exploring it. The quiet core of my inner self was always there, but I seldom explored it. But the wolf woke me up in my dream.

The next day started as usual, but something had happened in the middle of the night.

The following morning, my ex-husband appeared wide awake as if he hadn't slept at all. It was not usual. He started to speak with great excitement.

He had called the police in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep due to the noise of a computer upstairs. It was not loud but it was enough to annoy him. However, neither my daughter nor I were affected by the noise and were sound asleep.

The police arrived, went upstairs, woke up the resident, and had the computer turned off. Despite this, my ex-husband still struggled to fall back asleep.

I listened silently to his recounting of events. As I listened, I pictured myself sitting in the boat from my dream the previous night, gazing out at the water and hearing the wolf's howl.

Although I considered saying something to calm him down, the quiet core of my inner self stopped me.

"Ego... It is his ego." It whispered to me.

At that time, I saw the colour of his ego through his eyes. It grew and was about to pounce on me like flame from a fire-breathing dragon. Eventually, I recalled my ability to see the colour of people's hearts.

It seemed an apology for his behaviour on the full moon night. But it looked like an aggressive expression rather than an apology driven by his ego.

There was only one person in the past who noticed my dangerous ability. An Englishman named Swami Satchidanand taught me how to meditate in a small town in south Spain. He had a soft but strong, melodic and passionate voice like the sounds of iron wind chimes in a sweltering summer.

In September 2006 in the town called L'ESCALA in Spain, I faced my ego for the first time in my life. And we squared off with it during meditation, where Satchi guided me to do so. The challenge lasted for two weeks. I meditated with Sachi every morning and evening. The mysterious experience I had at that time came flooding out of my subconscious mind.

“Who won in that fight?” I asked myself. Yes, I did.

I was sure I had burned my ego after I visualised numerous blockages related to my ego and removed them during meditation.

“So why was my ego resurfacing now?” Again, I asked myself.

Because I stopped meditating. My meditation teacher, Sachi advised me to keep meditating a little bit every day and remove blockages. I couldn’t remember when I meditated the last time.

“Don’t panic! “ My ego whispered to me.

Again, I pictured myself sitting in the boat from my dream the previous night, gazing out at the water and hearing the wolf's howl, which was my ego’s voice.

“I love the challenge. Probably because I hate losing and it proves I am competitive. When a woman has this characteristic, she is swallowed by the rough water like you.”

Do you know the saying, "Cut your flesh and break his bones"? My ego asked me.

Yes, I know. I answered. This saying came from the Book of Five Rings. It is a text on Japanese swordsmanship called "Kenjutsu" written by the Japanese swordsman Musashi Miyamoto in the 17 century.

"The moment when you break the opponent's bones with well-organized thinking is the only moment when you can come out of the rough water and take a breath. In order to stay alive, or to survive, we must fight.“

It was my featherweight ego’s heavy determination.

To be continued to 1.5. ​THE ART OF SILENCE…..

Dear readers,

Thank you very much for reading my fourth chapter of the Kiosk. I appreciate your curiosity. I hope that my featherweight ego satisfies your curiosity.

KIOSK is a captivating and thought-provoking novel that delves into the realm of lucid dreaming and spirituality. Inspired by the author's own first lucid dream, the story follows a protagonist who finds themselves on a mysterious white platform with a KIOSK shop that triggers childhood memories and sets them on a transformative spiritual journey.

As the protagonist explores the depths of their subconscious through meditation and self-reflection, they begin to experience profound changes in their waking life. Through vivid descriptions and introspective prose, KIOSK takes readers on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

This novel is the first instalment in a triptych series that promises to captivate readers with its unique blend of dream exploration, spirituality, and personal transformation. I hope that KIOSK can help anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the power of the mind and the interconnectedness of dreams and reality through meditation.

Sincerely,

Yuko